Now we’re back into the world of Natasha and Marya. I love this description of grief by Tolstoy – not in a morbid sense because I like sad things – but because it captures the essence of the kind of questions you ask when you lose someone in a way that feels very real.
They might not be these particular questions or these particular thoughts – but they revolve around that cycle of emotions – sadness, anger, flatness. It’s all there.
The bit I like the best is where Natasha remembers Andrei saying that it would be awful to be stuck with an invalid the whole time. At the time, she agreed. But she qualifies that now – she agrees that it might be awful for Andrei – but for her, Natasha, she would much rather have an invalid dying Andrei around all the time, rather than to have no one at all.
Incredibly simple idea, profoundly moving. And, of course, all of this is shattered by still more devastating news about Petya that has finally arrived.